Celluloid Diaries

Together with the Offscreen Film Festival in Brussels, Belgium, I'll be hosting a retrospective on the best robot movies ever made.

Here is an oerview of the most entertaining robot movies that will be showing at the Offscreen Film Festival, most of them on 35 mm. The festival will take place between March 8 and March 26, 2023.

METROPOLIS

Fritz Lang's Expressionist silent classic reached a new generation via this Giorgio Moroder version with an 1980s pop soundtrack. Brigitte Helm plays a double role as proletarian heroine Maria and the iconic robot created in her image. See the eternal class war played out in an Art Deco setting, with a cast of thousands!

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

The intergalactic equivalent of a UN observer lands in Washington DC and demands a stop to nuclear testing in this sci-fi allegory with religious undertones. The earthlings ignore his pleas for peace, leaving them at the mercy of a giant robot that can only be stopped with the immortal words "Klaatu barada nikto!"

IKARIE XB-1

A starship heads to Alpha Centauri on a search for alien intelligence in this classic Stanislaw Lem adaptation, a key influence on everything from 2001 to Star Trek with its depiction of everyday life in space and discovery of an abandoned vessel. The old-fashioned robot is a figure of fun - until he saves the day!

THE CREATION OF THE HUMANOIDS

After a nuclear war, human survivors fear and despise the robots they now depend on, with extremists even launching terrorist attacks against the blue-skinned humanoids. Wooden acting and no-budget sets give an agreeably avant-garde flavour to this forgotten sci-fi gem packed with unusually progressive ideas.

BLADE RUNNER

A Los Angeles gumshoe, assigned to terminate rogue replicants, starts to question the ethics of his job. Scott's visionary reworking of Philip K. Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? revolutionised the face of sci-fi cinema with its neo-noir imagery, unforgettable androids, and spine-tingling Vangelis score.

I, ROBOT

A Chicago cop suspects a robot may be responsible for the death of a robotics company CEO. Are robots starting to ignore Asimov's Three Laws, which prevent them from harming human beings? Meanwhile, the laws of Hollywood blockbusters ensure a full complement of superb special effects and Will Smith kicking robot ass.

THE IRON GIANT

During the Cold War, a young boy befriends a big metal-eating robot from outer space which crashlands near his small town, but the paranoid government sends agents to investigate. This lovely animated fable, based on a children's story by poet Ted Hughes, flopped on its release but is now hailed as a modern classic.

FORBIDDEN PLANET

William Shakespeare's The Tempest gets a sci-fi makeover in this fantasy masterpiece with an avant-garde score. A starship lands on a planet where a sinister force has killed all but two members of a previous expedition: a scientist and his daughter. Robby the Robot, their mechanical servant, was a big hit with the public.

EX MACHINA

Alex Garland's directing debut is a virtual three-hander in which a naïve programmer is helicoptered into a billionaire tech bro's luxury home to determine whether a female android is capable of independent thought. Toxic masculinity and Machiavellian mind games ensue, with results that will keep you guessing to the end.

TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a creaky old T-800 sent back in time to protect mankind's future saviour and his mom from the more advanced T-1000 - a robot made of liquid metal! Just because this blockbuster has a pro-peace message doesn't mean it's not packed with chases, explosions and mind-blowing special effects.

GODZILLA VS MECHAGODZILLA

Just when you thought Godzilla was one of the good guys, he goes on the rampage again. But it's a mechanical imposter, controlled by aliens from another planet! The real Godzilla, outmatched, has to team up with King Caesar, a shaggy kaiju from Okinawa, for a three-way showdown that would do credit to Sergio Leone.

EVA

In 2043, androids are part of everyday life. Daniel Brühl (speaking fluent Catalan) plays a cybernetic genius who returns to his hometown to build a robot child modelled on his niece. Exquisite virtual interfaces, a droll robot factotum and adorable robo-cat are the supporting stars in this bewitching sci-fi yarn.

WESTWORLD

You've seen the TV show, now revisit Michael Crichton's original sci-fi classic about a futuristic theme park where tourists can interact with lifelike androids in recreations of the wild west, ancient Rome and medieval times. What could possibly go wrong? Yul Brynner, as an implacable robot gunslinger, is nightmare fodder.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

C-3PO and R2-D2 return for the first and best sequel in the Star Wars franchise, which introduces Yoda and spills the shocking truth about Darth Vader. This time the loveable droid duo faces formidable robotic competition in the shape of Imperial AT-AT Walkers; the tie-in toys were an instant hit with young fans.

THE BLACK HOLE

A deep space research crew finds a missing spaceship at the edge of a black hole in Disney's sci-fi spectacular with superb effects, a terrific John Barry score, and a trippy ending that traumatised a generation of kids. What will the crew and their faithful droid find on board? A mad scientist, and robots galore!

TEST PILOTA PIRXA

A heroic pilot agrees to lead a mission to Saturn, aware UNESCO has placed an android on his crew as part of a risky experiment. Can he work out which of his men is the non-human? This adaptation from one of Stanislaw Lem's Pirxa stories blends Cold War aesthetics and Arvo Pärt music with thrilling deep space action.

A.I. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

In the 22nd century, a robot child embarks on a Pinocchio-like quest to become a real boy and win back the love of the mother who rejected him. This adaptation of a Brian Aldiss story, initially developed by Stanley Kubrick, goes off on some very dark tangents (The Flesh Fair!) before a poignant emotional payoff.

THE QUESTOR TAPES

Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry conceived this TV film as the pilot for a series that was never made, but it works on its own as a globe-trotting adventure powered by the bromance between a human and an android, clearly the prototype for Next Generation's Data. Typical Roddenberry, it's humane, touching and funny.

DR. WHO AND THE DALEKS

The BBC's beloved sci-fi TV show first aired in 1963 and quickly spawned this big screen spin-off. Peter Cushing plays the time-travelling doctor who is transported with his two daughters and an assistant to Planet Skaro, home of the doctor's most fearsome enemies, the robotic Daleks. Their catchphrase? EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

THE ARTIFICE GIRL

Government agents interrogate a computer geek about the pubescent girl he's been using to trap sexual predators online. She turns out to be virtual (an uncanny performance by young Tatum Matthews) in a cerebral three-act chamber piece that dives deep into the ethics, pitfalls and potential of Artificial Intelligence.

METOROPORISU

Fritz Lang's Metropolis was inspiration for this spectacular dieselpunk anime in which a female android called Tima struggles against a destiny in which she will be deployed as a superweapon. The cityscapes are stunning, with a retro feel that's echoed in the ragtime-adjacent score and unexpected use of a Ray Charles hit.

GHOST IN THE SHELL 2: INNOCENCE

Major Kusanagi has a cameo, but the protagonist of this underrated sequel is her partner Batou, the world-weary semi-cyborg with a loveable Basset Hound. He and Section 9 trace a series of sexbot killings to a labyrinth of false realities and existential philosophy in an exquisite feast for the eyes, ears and brain.

AUTOMATA

In 2044, humans need robotic help to survive in a world scorched by solar flares. Antonio Banderas plays an investigator examining claims that robots have been breaching protocol by modifying themselves. This handsome sci-fi epic pits paranoid humans against philosophical machines who may be mankind's last hope.

SCREAMERS

A long war has left a remote planet littered with lethal robots that are evolving to look and behave just like humans. The lives of a battle-weary colonel (Peter Weller) and his men depend on distinguishing man from machine, but easier said than done in this tense, creepy adaptation of a Philip K. Dick short story.

ROBOCOP

"I'll buy that for a dollar!" Verhoeven stirs hyper-violence, splattery humour and religious allegory into a delicious satire on modern America. Peter Weller does some impressive acting with his mouth and chin (the only visible parts of his face) as a Detroit cop, murdered by crooks, who is resurrected as a cyborg.

DEATH MACHINE

In what could be the most unhinged performance of his career, Brad Dourif plays a mad scientist who unleashes his choppy, stabby killer robot on CEOs and eco-warriors trapped in a high-rise. Steven Norrington, in his feature debut, directs the hell out of this often hilarious mash-up of The Terminator, RoboCop and Hardware.

CHERRY 2000

In the year 2017, a businessman ventures into a perilous post-apocalyptic wasteland in search of spare parts for his beloved but obsolete sexbot. Melanie Griffith oozes 1980s star charisma as the hardboiled tracker he hires as a guide. Low-budget sci-fi with mad stunts, a western vibe and a Michael Almereyda screenplay.

HARDWARE

Richard Stanley, in his feature debut, works wonders on a minuscule budget with a 2000 AD-inspired yarn set in a post-apocalyptic neo-punk netherworld. A sculptress unwittingly solders a piece of lethal military android into her latest scrap metal creation, and the mechanical artwork runs amok. Heavy metal carnage to the max!

CHOPPING MALL

Security robots get their circuits scrambled by an electrical storm and hunt down the horny teens who are partying after hours in a shopping mall. B-movie mayhem from the Corman stable, packed with gratuitous boobs, cheesy exploding head effects, in-jokes and a cult cast including Dick Miller and Barbara Crampton.

STEEL AND LACE

When her evil yuppie rapist is found not guilty, a classical pianist commits suicide, but is resurrected by her genius brother as a killer-cyborg programmed to murder the scumbag and the buddies who gave him a fake alibi. Rape-revenge exploitation with a melancholy streak offset by some creative and surprising kills!

THE TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE

Heroic Autobots battle evil Decepticons in this spin-off from the animated TV show; more fun than Michael Bay's live-action pics, and not averse to killing off beloved characters. The illustrious voice cast includes Robert Stack, Leonard Nimoy and Orson Welles, in his final role, as the voracious planet Unicron.

SHORT CIRCUIT

"Number 5 is alive!" A military robot gains sentience and goes on the run in this family-friendly comedy adventure. A scatty animal lover (Ally Sheedy) thinks it's an extra-terrestrial and teaches it the ways of humans before they team up with the robot's inventor to evade the army killjoys who want it terminated.

WALL-E

By the year 2805, mankind has abandoned a polluted Earth for luxury starliners, leaving an amiable but lonely robot to clean up the mess in this lovely Pixar animation with an eco-message and inspired action out of the Buster Keaton playbook. Can WALL-E and his new robo-pal Eve teach humans how to heal their planet?

ANDROID

In 2036, three criminals seek refuge on a space station occupied only by creepy scientist Klaus Kinski and a naïve android, Max 404, who models himself on James Stewart. With its Space Invaders-era graphics, this no-budget but inventive New World production takes some unexpected turns en route to a violent climax.

CYBORG

In a plague-ridden future, a cyber-woman has to carry life-saving data from New York to Atlanta. Only Jean-Claude Van Damme and his signature helicopter kicks can protect her from the Flesh Pirates! Pyun applies his no-budget know-how to a post-apocalyptic argy-bargy featuring characters named after classic guitars.

My latest book, Evil Seeds: The Ultimate Movie Guide to Villainous Children, is now available from Amazon and other retailers.

There's Something Wrong With the Children

I wrote a piece about David Cronenberg's Naked Lunch for a new Arrow Video box set, and I'm super proud of this stunning edition.

It features a brand new 4K restoration from the Original Camera Negative, overseen by Director of Photography Peter Suschitzky and approved by writer/director David Cronenberg. It is available on both UHD and Blu-Ray.

On top of that, it has new interviews with producer Jeremy Thomas, cinematographer Peter Suschitzky, composer Howard Shore, SFX genius Chris Walas, and an hour-long conversation with star Peter Weller.

PLUS: an all new audio commentary by Jack Sargeant and Graham Duff, an archive directors commentary by David Cronenberg, an hour-long new piece by Tony Rayns on William S. Burroughs, a new appreciation by David Huckvale on the music of Naked Lunch, an all new visual essay by David Cairns, Naked Making Lunch (the making of doc originally shown as part of the South Bank Show), presented here in a new scan from director Chris Rodley's own 16mm print, which is slightly longer than the version most people are used to seeing (also viewable with a new audio interview with Chris Rodley - director of Naked Making Lunch and editor of the essential Cronenberg on Cronenberg), and a gallery of concept art and maquettes by Stephen Dupuis.

Not to mention an 80-page perfect-bound book containing new writing by Jack Sargeant and yours truly, plus a wealth of archival material.

And the cherry on this particular cake? All new art by Gilles Vranckx (who also made the book covers for Evil Seeds, The Ultimate Movie Guide to Villainous Children, Strange Blood: 71 Essays on Offbeat and Underrated Vampire Movies, and When Animals Attack: The 70 Best Horror Movies with Killer Animals).

UHD is all on one disc, BD is two discs, but both versions contain all the same stuff.

And, of course, this limited edition version also features a double sided poster, a selection of postcards, plus a reproduction ticket to Interzone and reproduction business cards for both William Lee and Dr. Benway.

This is a UK only release since other labels have the rights in other territories, but UHD is region free so...