Celluloid Diaries: GPS WITH BENEFITS out now!

Thursday, November 1, 2012


How many people do you know that make jokes about their GPS device or even talk to it?

Nearly everyone, right?

GPS devices know where you are and how fast you are driving. Who says that, in the near future, they won't be able to know who you look at and what you say?

These thoughts form the basis of my new release, GPS WITH BENEFITS, in which a womanizer test drives a new GPS device with a jealous mind of 'her' own.

I won't reveal more, but GPS WITH BENEFITS has some twists and turns that you won't see coming and that will have you laughing out loud.

GPS WITH BENEFITS is available NOW at:

* Amazon.com
* Amazon.co.uk

What's the weirdest or funniest thing your GPS device has ever done?


  1. Congratulations on the new release! GPS With Benefits sounds awesome!

  2. Hi, Vanessa. Is there a sample chapter anywhere?

  3. GPS can be funny! I love it when I take a detour on my route, like to the drug store, and my GPS is like WHEN POSSIBLE MAKE A U-TURN and repeats it 100 times until I go into the store :)

  4. I am not really a big fan of GPS systems, as I do believe it retards your learning. Even though my phone has a full GPS app, I prefer to use Bing/Google Maps to learn a route before I head off. That way I will know where to go myself next time. I also find it hard to hear the directions over my car stereo, so they really aren't that useful.

    As for getting lost, I usually enjoy it. I like the feeling of not being quite sure where I am and having to explore an area to find my way out. It happens to me all the time on my bicycle and is a big part of the appeal of riding places I might normally prefer to drive.

  5. Here's a true story about three Japanese tourists that drive straight into the Pacific:

    "Three Japanese tourists in Australia found themselves in an embarrassing situation after their GPS navigation system lured them down the wrong path. The three, who are students from Tokyo, set out to drive to North Stradbroke Island on the Australian coast and mapped out their path on their GPS system. The road looked clear, at low tide — but the map forgot to show the 9 miles of water and mud between the island and the mainland. As the three drove their rented car into Moreton Bay, they found the GPS device guiding them from a gravel road into thick mud. They tried to get back to solid ground, but as the tide rose they were forced to abandon their car. Passengers on passing ferries watched in amazement."

  6. Yeah, congratulations !! :-) I can always remember our first tour via gps going to take the kids to Eden Camp, told us to turn right, looking at each other we did wonder but thought well it must be ok, so we turned right and ended up skirting a farmers field. Unfortunately two locals were walking the dogs and had a good giggle at our expense :-( We got the impression this hadn't been the first time it had happened!! Thanks for popping over to our weekly book blog hop this week xx

  7. Following/commenting from the blog hop! I hope you'll come and do the same :)

  8. I heard that a truck driver wound up 2600 kilometres off course when his GPS sent him to the Gibraltar Point nature reserve on the coast of Lincolnshire, England, instead of the rock Gibraltar.

  9. Hi! I am your newest follower and was hoping that you would hop on over to my blog and follow me back!



  10. Wow...I read both Drowned Sorrow and A Good Man. I haven't read your other stories yet for some reason...I must rectify that.

  11. LOL! OK, that premise is VERY intriguing! A sentient GPS could be awesome, or it could turn a little scary, as things did in 2001: A Space Odyssey…

    As for us, our GPS has been basically OK, but it does have a tendency to be off just a little for directions, often estimating that we have already arrived when in fact we are still searching for the location in question. So the chirpy little voice will declare, “You have arrived at your destination; your route guidance is now finished!” just as I’m scanning for the right house or business number, trying to go swiftly enough not to tick off drivers behind… *sigh* Haven’t figured out how to fix it, so we just live with it! At least we aren’t juggling a big map or the pages of a Thomas Guide while driving :-)

  12. This technically wasn’t my gps, but I was in the car with a friend and it was hers. This was back when I was in undergrad and in a sorority, for some reason that currently escapes me, we thought it would be fun to go to free pancake day at ihop. There were several cars going and the one that I was in was the last to leave. No one in this car was familiar with the area (we were all from either different parts of the state or out of state) so we used the gps to find ihop.

    Keep in mind, ihop was less than ten minutes from my campus.

    It took us almost three hours to get there, we hit three different counties in the process – I have no idea what the gps was doing, or where it thought we wanted to go, but it decided to take us for a bit of a ride.

    I honestly was not sure if I was ever going to get back to campus or not at one point.

    Anyway – looking back on it now, it is hilarious – the girl who was driving and I have absolutely no sense of direction, heck we once got lost while walking to a building that was supposed to be just adjacent to the campus.
    I have since then discovered google maps walking directions on my phone, it makes me happy. Plus, my new gps is very accurate, thankfully, although that doesn’t stop me from messing up all the time, it does help.


  13. Our GPS once took us to the top of a mountain and said to turn left and drive off the side!

  14. We love our GPS ... and yep, we've named her! And YEP, I talk to her all the time! On a recent vacation, she guided us along just fine but at one point she got a little "frazzled" and had us doing U-turns ... lots of them. But we still love her! :-)

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